Pencils Down

This weblog is about my experiences in software development

Browsing Posts tagged Hiring

Experience: 5+ years
Must have: Core Java, J2EE, Spring, Hibernate, Web Services

I run a and am on the simple healthy dressing recipe and the mailing list for quite a few contractor type roles. I am guessing close to half of salads using quinoa and of the healthy salad dressings to make and the listings look like the super healthy salad dressing and the above ‘requirements’.

I have even called a few agents asking if there really aren’t more requirements for the salad dressing low calorie and the position. They have acted confused, as if they had no idea what I was talking about.

As opposed to the healthy dressing for salad and the more typical job description with:
– contract or full time?
– contract length, w2 or not, …
– what industry?
– what kind of how do you make quinoa salad and of company?
– tools and methodologies in use
– list of salad recipes quinoa and of mandatory skills
– list of easy quinoa recipes salad and of optional skills
– list of quinoa cold salad and of would be nice “if you have developed an xyzzy before”

I can tell these jobs are not being filled as the quinos salad and the same job offering comes through on feed after feed, week after week.

Who can afford to have these agents working that don’t produce? Maybe they don’t get paid unless they do produce. Then who is paying their bills?

The Worst Developer Job (Boston)

Job Responsibilities for a horrible Web Developer Job at a company you will HATE:

-Achieve 100% code accuracy in all 300+ required programming languages. If 99% accurate, termination.

-Argue with all product development teams in an aggressivemanor wherever possible for optimal productivity.

-Conduct design and code reviews. If a bug is found, termination.

-Maintain a low awareness of industry issues and trends, particularly in regard to web technologies. (If you are looking into latest trends you are wasting company time, termination)

-Provide technical leadership and make fun of on ALL new developers as they are on-boarded.

-Give 100% accurate time estimates.

-Contribute to documentation and arguments amongst co-workers where required .

-If you share how to identify and implement ways to improve how we build software in any way, termination.


-A-holes are promoted within the first 6 months.

-12+ years experience designing and developing highly scalable web apps on the Microsoft platform

-Hands-on expertise with ASP.NET, C#, C++, SQL, CSS, HTML, JavaScript, jQuery, AJAX, Ruby on Rails, Node.js. If not expert level, termination.

-Passionate about having a hatred towards co-workers, wants to stay hands-on, enjoys coding indark (locked) closets, enjoys being chained to their desk. (recommended)

-Able to organize and clarify complex business fights in the office.

-Familiar with Agile development processes.

-Able to work in an Hierarchical company where nobody gives a S*#! about your opinion.

-Self-motivated and willing to work all weekends and holidays.

Benefits (If asked about any of these, termination)

-Competitive salary (If you are not an expert programmer, you will not get paid)

-No time off. Even if sick. If sick, termination.

-$1,000 bonus if you never talk in the office

-Grade D Health and dental insurance

-No group life, short-term, and long-term disability insurance

-Opportunity to work in a small, high stress, impossible to grow startup environment

-Ping-pong and foosball tables for superior hand-eye coordination. If you give into temptation and play these game in the office, termination.

-Paid in Trident Layers. (used)

– $25,000 Base Salary. Pay increase after 8 years.

If you want to find a tech job that doesn’t suck, apply on …

Someone on craigslist made this excellent post:

Date: xxx
Reply to: xxx

Designers do.
Photographers do.
Graphic Artists do.

Web developers create software. Something that does something. Think Verbs.
Most successful developers work on projects that are not open to the public.
Even with the public facing sites we work on, the look and feel is not typically done by us. It’s done by a designer.

If you’re not getting good replies to to your ads here, try taking out the ridiculous insistence that developers send you a portfolio of their work.
Ask instead for a resume, CV, or description of their work.

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay

PostingID: nnnn

My underline and bold in description below.  I thought these kind of coconut milk chicken soup and of posts evaporated.

Makes you wonder what the rest of soup rexipes and of the employees are bringing to the table if this person knows everything and does everything.


VP of thai soup recipe coconut milk and of Web Application Architecture for a fulltime position with our client in downtown <city>.  (he or she must be hands on)

Provide technical architecture and design leadership for large scale digital marketing campaigns and technology solutions

10-12 years of how to make chicken thai soup and of Application Development experience

2-4 years of soup reciepies and of Complex Application Architecture and Design

· Expert J2EE developer and architect; formal certification is preferred

· Significant experience architecting and developing web applications

· Demonstrates expert knowledge of thai coconut soup and of relevant technologies and architectures including J2EE Application Servers and Content Management including experience with one or more industry leading products (e.g. Vignette, Interwoven, Fatwire, Alfresco, OpenCMS)

· Expert knowledge of thai coconut soup recipe chicken and of Object Oriented programming and associated methodologies such as data/object modeling and pattern based design

· Expert knowledge of asian coconut soup and of XML and the associated technologies (e.g. XSLT, FOP)

· Expert knowledge of new soup ideas and of Unix (Linux, Solaris) and good working knowledge of coconut soup recipes and of Windows

· Experience in legacy systems integration

· Able to define hardware requirements

· Expert knowledge of recipe of soup and of software engineering methodologies

· Working knowledge of coconut thai soup recipe and of security concerns for web applications.


· Stays current with emerging technologies and contribute to overall technical direction of how to make chicken thai soup and of Technology

· Responsible for setting Coding standards

· Perform code reviews

· Clarity and consistency of soup recipea and of code; code well documented with minimal bugs and errors


· Excellent client facing skills

· Strong presentation and documentation skills

· Nurtures relationships with technical clients


Helps mentor Web Developers, Software Engineers, Senior Software Engineers and Principal Software Engineers in technical skills

Strong written and verbal communication skills

Works with others to provide technical direction and efficiency

Leads technology shared learning sessions


Lead and architect technical direction of soup recioes and of one or multiple projects

Identify and champion client technology synergies and optimization

Propose and support incorporation of food recipes soup and of new technology

Test new ideas / product for applicability to project goals

Document functionality and designs at an architectural level

Knowledge in vendor negotiations, vendor evaluations, specifically geared towards technical evaluation of soup ideas and of software and organization

Participates in new business pitches when required

A shows a Computer Engineering/Science being in the top 10 for starting and mid-career salary.  So, that’s good news – might still have a job for several more years.  The starting looks like $50,000+ and mid-career of about $100,000.  Still sounds good.

I know I am old, but when I went to college it was $3,000 a year and the starting salary was in the teens.  So, without any financial aid you were in the clear immediately.  I am not so sure it is still so obvious.

I start wondering about the cost of a bachelor’s degree these days and the .  So, just focusing on the degree costs I am using a ballpark figure of $50,000 per your (tuition, board, books, travel, etc…) for 4 years.  Assume your parents saved something and can cut the number by half.  At the end of 4 years you would have a $100,000 loan.  Using a that comes to about $1,150 per month.

So, if we round up to $60,000 per year that means $5,000 per month gross.  Less about 1/3 for federal and state taxes leaves you at $3,300 per month.  Sounds good we have a little over $2,000 a month free.

That’s not enough to buy a condo or house in a city (especially where you would not have a down payment), so you are renting.  A good apartment runs about $1,000 a month.  Utilities, internet, etc.. probably tack on another $500 a month.  Now we are down to $500 free.

Oh, you want a car.  Nice toyota runs $300 a month.  Down to $200 month free.

You want to eat?

I think I was a little generous above, but not too far out of the picture.  Heaven forbid your parents don’t have $100,000 saved for you or you decide to get a Master’s degree or you have a girl friend or …

I was momentarily assigned to a secret project, as in DOD clearance type of work.

While there I was told that the tools being used on the project were classified as secret.  This is interesting.  If notepad.exe is a tool on a secret project, the the name of the tool itself is a secret and falls under the classification of DOD secret and you are in violation if you devulged such information to anyone out of the project.

So, assume you are working on a secret project, using tools x, y an z for the typical contract of 6-12 months.  On your resume you can not state what tools you were working with during that time.

Further lets assume at the end of that period you are looking for another project.  The current environment in the industry is have you had recent (read yesterday) experience using tools x, y and z.  You can not tell anyone that you have.  Therefore you will probably not be hired or even approached about the position as you do not meet the requirements for the position.


I see a lot of these types of ads recently:

– we need a god (not just good, but a god) programmer

– must know every programming paradigm known to man

– you will be responsible for all of us making a living

– oh yeah, we are just about out of seed money since the owner’s went to that off-site in Banff

There is never any mention of the employer’s skill set.  I understand they need a good developer, but there is no mention of whether any of the owners have a clue about running a company.  There is no balance of skills/work between the employer and the employee. 

Maybe this is just the latest version of failing to outsource for cheap labor in the Far East: if we have to pay an American make sure we are getting our money’s worth.

Date: 2010-03-08, 1:18PM EST
Reply to: x

Full Time PHP Developer 

(Our) specific homepages serve tens of thousands of students throughout the country and provide single-click access to email, Facebook, classes, athletics, food, news, and entertainment. We are looking for the following…

– A highly motivated person.
– An excellent working knowledge of PHP/MySQL and web application development.
– A minimum of 2 years experience in PHP development and preferably a computer science or related degree.

Proven excellence in the following technical skills:
– MySQL (optimising/scaling)

Additional experience in the following areas would be a huge plus:
– CodeIgniter
– JavaScript (jQuery)
– Adobe Flex
– Experience building scalable web applications
– Amazon Web Services
– Apache 2.x
– Some Linux Server Administration
– Web Application Benchmarking
– Data Mining
– Experience with APIs (Google, Twitter, Facebook Connect)

  • Location: Boston, MA
  • Compensation: Competitive + Full Health + Stock Incentives
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Our team lead just hired another contractor from the same agency I am working through.  The contractor went through the interview rounds (full-time’s only) including the team lead and group lead.

Per the team lead the developer has lots of experience with Java, JSF, SOA, etc…  All the stuff we need on the team

The guy talks, a lot.  This is just a personality trait that irks me.  So, maybe he’s ok anyway.

Then I overhear the conversations he’s having with other developers (see talks a lot above) and some of the questions he has asked me:

  • When a screen (from the functional spec) has multiple checkboxes does that mean the user can select multiple items?
  • Similar when a screen has multiple radio buttons does that mean the user can select only one?
  • Do I need the JDK installed to compile the application?
  • Are all of the user actions affecting the database?

I guess the worst part is I bet he is getting the same hourly rate (or better) than I am.

Developer Wanted

No comments

JavaScript developer (Davis Square)

Reply to: [?]
Date: 2009-01-13, 12:43PM EST
Hi! We’re looking for aJavaScript developer to help us out with various features on our website.

So here’s your first task :) We’d like to see the most elegant solution to this problem:

We have username and password boxes on our website. But, we don’t want to have external labels (next to and outside the boxes) as we do now.

Instead, we want to make the labels appear inside the text fields, and have them disappear when you click inside them. The labels should reappear if the user doesn’t type anything and clicks outside the field, but should not overwrite anything the user types.

We’re looking for a smart person who knows his JS, so send us your solution to this problem (HTML plus whatever scripts you used), plus a short description of your background. Hours are flexible, payment is negotiable. (If we choose you, we’ll compensate you for your time spent on this problem too.) We prefer local candidates (we’re located in Davis Square in Somerville) but we’re willing to accommodate the right person.

Thanks for looking!

Location:Davis Square
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: negotiable
PostingID: 9999999

So, why do people think that a qualified developer will do this? It’s typically a non-trivial task that would take a few hours. It’s going to be very specific to the client and non-portable. The client has no reason to acclaim someone’s response as correct – they can just incorporate as needed. There is no recourse as there is no info on the client to see if they stole your code.

The words a contractor does not want to hear.  I know the company has a full-time need that I can’t support, but it did feel better knowing that there was a gap.  I asked about the new guy. 

Oh, he’s an old friend.  Lots of C/C++ work on Unix.  Some Oracle work.

But, the shop is all Java against SQL Server.

Oh, don’t worry about that.  He’s a good, long-timer.

Any web work?

No, but that won’t be a problem.  (The shop produces web applications)

How about he works on the current software to kind of see how things work?  That’s mostly SQL work at this point.

No, we were thinking he would jump in on the new product (A Java Spring app with every bleeding edge Java tool known)

Great.  Sounds like it will be a perfect fit.